Wednesday, January 20, 2010

the ugly truth

I have never really believed in inconspicuous "messages" or "signals" scattered throughout life that some may believe to have a higher significance that we do not fully understand in the moment. That philosophy has slightly chipped away today.

Case 1:

I have recently begun a new position at work and now have quite a substantial number of associates of whom report to me. For some reason since my first week, I have not met this young lady. Meeting her for the first time today, I found her to be very personable, cheerful, and an all-around nice person. (Don't worry, I'm not crushing on her.) I casually greeted and chatted with her for a bit at first connection then quickly ran to something familiar. Later in the day, she garners my attention yet again and we break-out into trivial conversation. Then she asks,

"So, where do you go out normally?"

Taken aback for a moment, I was slightly shocked that another person had a sincere interest in my personal life. Reeling back to reality, it suddenly dawned on me that I do not really have a "normal hang-out destination." I unconsciously stutter before answering just to unconsciously show that I did not have an answer planned for such a random question. The primary cause of such delay is that I realized briefly that I do not have any regular friends. We have sudden spurts of socializing when birthdays come around, when someone from out-of-town visits, or I tag along to some other party that is happening, but never something that I would call regular.

Case 2:

This evening, I had the distinct pleasure of sitting at home, in my bed, watching television, eating dinner, by myself (relevance coming soon). Well, I was watching the hilarious show, Ugly Betty. Ironically, the main character in the show, undoubtedly Betty, found herself in the predicament of watching a television program at home alone while eating pasta. It just so happens that what she was watching on the television was a news story of a woman who had died in her own home for over a week only to be found with the television on, with a bowl of pasta, and all alone.

Relevance, check. It certainly is serendipitous when the t.v. program that you are watching shows a t.v. program that directly relates to your own life situation. In this case, I realized that I was fearful of the same fear that overcame Betty in watching that news broadcast. I would like to reiterate: I was watching t.v., eating dinner, at home, by myself watching a t.v. character eating dinner, at home, all by herself, watching a dead woman who was found watching t.v., eating dinner, and at home, all alone.


I guess that it is easy to deduce that I certainly need to find some "regular" friends, develop some "regular" social habits, and fester around some "regular" communal destination. I certainly do not want to be found dead in my house with no one to find me until the pungent smell of my decaying corpse becomes so incessantly vile that my neighbors finally come over to check on my inhumane living conditions. Call for help, check.

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